It’s growing

And it’s growing really fast now! It is so amazing to witness a new human person growing up. And to recognize that living(!) personality even before its birth. We haven’t made a supersonic picture yet and most likely never will. That is an interesting experience actually. It seems to be the normality nowadays to observe that young beeing even before it’s birth, just for safety’s sake. But not doing so, and simply accepting whatever will come creates a completely different feeling for us. That is a little hard to describe. It’s a feeling of letting that baby its privacy (which it certainly deserves), and a feeling of trust and, well, acceptance. (I am not really good at finding the right words, but it feels good.) And really, what else would we do anyway? Even if it would be disabled in any way, there’s no way we would abort.

Another effect is (especially for Madeleine) that not making yourself a picture beforehand prevents you from focussing on the superficiality too much and allows to develop a deeper sensuality towards the child. I don’t know about you, but pictures tend to have a heavy effect on my mind and memory. For example (in a completely different context), when I take many pictures of a holiday journey, this exact journey tends to reduce itself on these pictures when I look at them often. Which doesn’t happen when I don’t watch them often or don’t shoot them in the first place. That’s quite similar here.

A practical side effect is that we don’t know if it’ll be a boy or girl. So we gotta bite the bullet and think out names for both. So far we could only think out girl’s names though.

Baby, you are so welcome! 🙂


About Roman Kennke
JVM Hacker, Principal Software Engineer at Red Hat's OpenJDK team, Shenandoah GC project lead, Java Champion

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